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Nicholas Horny Hai

2007-01-13T01:00:00.000+05:30

I want a gurl that'll be by my side
And another one that I'll take for a ride
For Hours & Hours I sit and keep surfing the net
In the dark hours I dream dreams that are wild and wet
I read the eroticas and surf sites... crazy PORNY!
My girlfriends tell me all the time- Hell! Nick you're Horny!
Three months we chat online
Next three months I tell her
To meet me somewhere asap
In my mind wild thoughts linger...
And one fine day when the sun shines bright
She meets me.. she sees me... she starts a fight
And tells me with someone else she's already going around
I tell her she's a hoe and attack her like a hound
I come back home... and she goes missing
But man twas fun... the action & the kissing
Three days pass... and the scars and wounds heal
Back I am to the place where they call me the "Singing Battle of Plassyfield"
I log into my account... yes I do once again...
coz I know it well that my prey waits in my Friend list, i.e. my den!

-Nicholas Sohail Hussain

Michael to remake Get Rich or Die Tryin

2007-01-05T16:11:00.000+05:30

Stanislaus Michael who was last seen in "Rosy Aur Johnny" which was about the kind of life which is led by the Anglo Indians living in the slums of India has announced that he will be remaking the 50-Cent Starrer 'Get Rich or Die Tryin' in Hindi. The music will be given by Neil and 50 cent's part will be played by Stanislaus Michael himself. The movie is being financed by Sumesh Duggar, who still refuses to reveal the sources of his funds. Here's the first poster which has been released.

PS: Is that Stanis' name written on his chest with a blade???

Hrithik's erection in Dhoom 2 Poster

2006-11-09T10:36:00.000+05:30

I know this is weird but I couldn't but adding it on in this post itself. I dunno if I'm the only one or other people have taken note as well, take a look at the D:2 poster:

Abhishek looks like a completely doped, half-asleep, bearded guy who hasn't taken a bath for ages but has a fancy for gay t-shirts but what surprises me even more is umm... its bad but take a look at Hrithik's willy, hard-on lmao! I never knew Ash & Bips would have this effect on him. LOL wtf was he fantasizing? Not Uday Chopra I hope.

Its Raining Sequels!!!

2006-06-26T16:44:00.000+05:30

The film industry is going through the big boom phase and it seems the writers are running short of ideas... or so it appears. All of a sudden, its raining sequels in the film industry and its an exciting race to say the least!!!

Starting the race is a sequel to Walt Disney's hugely succesfull 1993 Academy Award winning movie, Aladdin. Being called a sequel, Aladdin 2 is actually a re-make of the 1993 classic as a Live Action movie! The movie is a huge budgeted multistarrer starring some of the biggest names of the Industry. Abhijeet Roy is playing the lead as Aladdin and Suvoneel Dutta has been cast opposite him as the lovely Jasmine. Rohan Maheshwari has been perfectly cast as Abu the monkey and Kaja Neina is playing Jafar. The project which has been directed by Farhan Hashim is all set for release and will hit the theatres on June 30th!

Following the cat race is the sequel to the 2001 hit, Humpty Dumpty. Written & Directed by Abhinava's brother, the film will be starring Abhinava Varma as the naughty Humpty Dumpty again. The project is being produced by Abhinava's grand-daddy and is currently being shot in the school field. The fans are eagerly waiting for Humpty dumpty 2, but the question remains, will the Varmas be able to live upto the brilliance of the original? Or will the film be yet another example of the fact that Sequels generally suck? We'll find out. The film is scheduled for release on 1st July.

Following Humpty Dumpty 2, following the que is the most awaited film of the year! The super hit trio of Babbar Subhash, Mithun Chakraborty and Bappi Lahiri will be teaming up again for the sequel of the 1983 Mega Blockbuster which set the Box Office on fire, Disco Dancer. In Disco Dancer 2, the story follows, this time with Anil's (Mithun Chakraborty) son getting into his daddy's shoes... but unlike the original classic which lacked the charm which one would want to see in the leading man, Babbar Subhash is all set not to repeat his mistakes. Mithun Da has himself picked arguably India's hottest hunk and most eligible bachelor to appear on Indian celluloid, Abhijeet Roy! Yes, its Abhijeet Roy again who after living up Aladdin's part in the movie will be returning back as the new Disco Dancer only to set new levels for himself but the question remains... will the Multiplexes be large enough to accomodate Abhijeet's huge female fan following??? July 15th is the date Box Office will see the release of the film, which some predict will turn out to be the biggest blockbuster of the decade!

To avoid releasing a movie on the same day Disco Dancer 2 hits the nation, producers have decided to postpone their releasing dates. Both, Disney Pixar as well as 20th Century Fox have decided to release their movie on 29th July. Both the movies are big budgeted but the producers believe that the loss they'll bear will be far lesser than what they would've had to if their movie was released on July 15th along with Babbar Subash's Disco Dancer 2. So therefore, on July 29th, we'll see both, Disney Pixar's sequel to the 2003 hit, Finding Nemo... titled Finding Goldfish starring Joydeep Roy as well as 20th Century Fox's sequel to the 2000 hit Hollow Man, Charbee Man starring Anshuman Bagri in the main lead. Which one of these two will steal the show on that Friday is yet to be seen but from all that we have seen, there's one thing for sure! It's raining sequels!!!

Devvrat Himmatsinghka V/S Catherine Zeta Jones

2006-05-25T13:55:00.000+05:30

Since the past 1 year there has been an arguement on a topic more controversial than Salman Bushdie's, sorry Rushdie's "Satanic Verses" and more violent than Sunny Deol, Rambo & Hulk put together!

The Topic: Is Devvrat Himmat Singhka a clone of Catherine Zeta Jones?

80% people agree with my point of view that is for the motion but yet there are few disbelievers whom I will convince on the Day of Judgment, i.e. Today ITSELF!

So let's start the debate with the opposing part starting first:

Against-The-Topic: A Clone is someone who resembles the subject alot in terms of look and familiarity. Therefore, Devvrat does NOT look like Catherine Zeta Jones.

For-The-Topic: Your Honour! The allegations put on by my worthy opponents are completely false and baseless. However, I do have evidences to support my believe. Your Honour I would like to present a few posters which will prove my point.

Against-The-Topic: Objection Your Honour!

Judge: Objection Over ruled! F-T-H, You have the permission to do so.

For-The-Topic: Thank you, My Lord. Here are the evidences:

EVIDENCE # 1:

Evidence # 2:

The last and the strongest evidence, Evidence # 3:

Judge: Does the defending lawyer want to say anything?

Against-The-Topic: Yes My Lord! Catherine Zeta Jones is HOT!!!! Devvrat Himmatsinghka is NOT!!! Catherine is 1 million times hotter than Devvrat

For-The-Topic: Your Honour, I would like to ask my worthy opponent.... Why is Catherine hot??? Just because she has amazing boobies????? Your Honour I would like to bring it to your notice that for the past 3 years, Devvrat has been working hard on his diet- eating strictly Maadoo food with huge quantities of Ghee and Dalda in them. Sabji-Puri have become a must for him and thank God, all his efforts have brought colours--- Now Devvrat too has amazing boobies! So where is the difference? Hell.... I would go on to say that if you compared the two, Devvrat's smile is better!

Judge: Keeping all the views and evidences in mind, this court has come to the conclusion that Devvrat Himmatsinghka IS a clone of Catherine Zeta Jones and has full support of the Indian Government to start off as a porn star if he wills to..... Case Closed.

Matrix 4: The Review

2006-04-18T20:05:00.000+05:30

After nearly 2 years since its last prequel was released.... the Warner Brothers are back and better than ever! Matrix 4 is a feast for the eyes... and much much more than that!

The film's OST- Kaal Kaal.... Dekho Mera Baal Baal is simply amazing! And the chemistry between Shrawan Bhaiyya and Akhilesh absolutely burns up the screen! The visual effects in the movie is stunning and even in the music video of Kaal Kaal, it has been highly used, especially the part when Akhilesh shakes his head in delight after finally realizing that it was not a giant sized yellow banana as it appeared, but it was Shrawan B.... Bhaiyya inside as the banana slowly peels off, all by itself!!!

Debutante Akhilesh Kumar Gupta gives us his best performance till date (and so very obviously as this is his first film but ssshhhhh....). His style of dialogue delivery is.. ummmmm..... UNIQUE! and his way of emoting the different feelings of the character he plays is absolutely marvellous (and it shows on his face... yep!.... it does!)....

Well, the story is about an innocent child (Tarang Bharadwarj) who is envied by all and as a result is, a loner... things take a turn for the worse when his behaviour keep changing satellites and he starts fearing that he has some serious mental disease. He therefore, immediately
consults a lawyer to know what is wrong. Unfortunately the lawyer reveals unto him that he has been the victim of a very serious mental disorder---- SPLIT PERSONALITY !!! Tarang completely breaks down!

This is where Morpheus (Shrutarshi Basu) and Trinity (Shrawan Bhaiyya) come to the rescue and tell Akhilesh that he is the chosen one to fight the legal battle between humans and machines in the court... For this what is required is complete study of the law and the movie gets even more interesting.

Will Akhilesh be able to save the human city???? Or will he, as it actually happenedin the movie, end up cheating on the humans (and Shrawan Bhaiyya) and kissing the machine's electrifying metallic ass?

Will he ever agree to the fact that he called himself Neo as is claimed by Agent Aijjo (Stanislaus Michael: another brilliant performer) or will he keep denying it?

Will Trinity (Shravvan Bhaiyya) ever find out that he's not the only one who knows how much chest hair Akhilesh posseses, but there's also someone else in his life??? (Hint: Goldfish, played by Joydeep Roy, brother of Shushu-van (Hindi Translation: Shushu= Urine, Van= Forest* Therefore, Shushuvan= the forest which produces urine)

Will Agent Aijjo keep cutting his nerves with the blade? or will he find a new hobby???

Will Akhilesh become the new Britto House captain?????

All these questions and more will keep revolving around your mind and the only way to stop it........ is to find the answers to it...... Watch the movie!

Bird Flu--- A Boon in Disguise

2006-04-10T17:25:00.000+05:30

The bird flu has been in India for the past 2-3 decades but unfortunately, the birds haven't. The heartless hard-headed butchers have been on a killing spree when it comes to innocent chickens....

Its like Amrita Singh had said, "this is Kalyug and as long as there will be demand for something, there will be someone to supply it". What many idiots had failed to understand was that this comment was not for porngraphy as is misunderstood. It was rather about the innocent chickens whose demand has always been on a high and chickens were becoming extinct at an astonishing rate.

The war between the chickens and the humans had begun... One after another.... chickens were being slaughtered in a way much worse than the way Hitler had killed jews.

...And thus movies based on the true war between chickens and humans became the source of inspiration for many film-makers (The Wachowski brothers to start out with, who replaced the chickens with machines and thus The Matrix was born). The Academy Award Winner for best picture, Crash was also inspired by the way chickens were being discriminated in the human society but Paul Haggis, too was discriminative enough like the Wachowski to kick the chickens out of the story and filling their part with niggers, frenchmen and of course the Muslims.

"How low can you go???", is the slogan the chickens have adapted for the humans who have been hurting the chicken's pride for ages now. The humans purposly, to insult the chickens more tentavely came out with the slogan, "Sunday ho ya monday.... Roz khao ande hi ande" (Whether its a sunday or a monday, everyday is "eat-an-egg" day). As if that wasn't enough, they purposly offend the chiken race by calling anyone coward a chicken.... take a look at this:

"C'mon.... stop chickening out you coward...." or
"What are you? A man or a chicken, huh?"
First they hurt our pride and used to kill our parents........ then they started killing us.... I watched my husband as that bitchy butcher ran his knife along his neck....... and then when my man was trying to fight it out.... he just dumped him into a tall bucket which read PATTON and shut it.... I cried for help....... but nobody came.... I could hear him groan him in pain but there was nothing I could do.... I sat there in tears....", said Nikhil sen, "and its not that all, my mom was expecting another child but even before he could hatch out of the egg, they killed him.... putting him in a newspaper packet and giving him away..... for merely 50 paisa..."

Nikhil's sad story is no different from the story of millions of other innocent chickens who had gone through this trauma or are still going through. They have no respect for us... no pity for us.... Whether its an elderly cock or a baby chicken.... they just grab them mericlessly and put them to a sleep they can never wake up from", continued Nikhil Sen, with tears in his eyes......... Nikhil who is also the head of "All Chicken's Cocky Club" thought that enough was enough and thus came up with the idea of Bird Flu.

So Nikhil & his friends started spreading rumours about Bird Flu among chickens... which has already created a big havoc among the humans who have stopped consuming the chickens now and are even scared of touching them.

The chickens' commitee has decided to award Nikhil for his great achievement for the entire Chicken race....

"It was a war and we have won it.....", said Nikhil, "I am so happy.... I just can't express my feelings.... now I can go with my all new boyfriend in the nests and lay eggs with him..... Of course its a great feeling.... I have started learning how to play the guitar as well and mind you, I'm talented so I'm gonna form my band of chickens and go particpate in events like Callisto and Xavogreen......... I am so excited.... I cannot express my delight.. All I can say is that it feels great to be back where we belong.... in the green vast fields......"

Time to party??? Well for the chickens, it sure is, and the war, as for now, seems to have ended in the chicken's favour..... Cheers to you Nikhil for your mastermind plan....

Nikhil is in an all partying mood and you gotta see it to believe how happy he is......

He's Ishan- The Sailor Man

2006-04-09T03:13:00.000+05:30

Well well well, now here's the man that's made India proud! Getting his name in the Guiness Book of world records is no joke and Ishan Maitra just did that for having the hugest forearms in the whole world! Maitra, who close resemblance to Popeye the sailor man is unmistakable is already high on offers.

"Blaady weight! You think I wont to pley some stoopid Popeye? Faack Popeye and faack his blaady fatha! And his matha! The only offars that I like are the ones with Paaamela Enderson! Blaady cheque out haar neipeles!! Ooooooooo Faakin Awesaam!" is what the guy had to say.

Maitra, when asked about his marital condition had this to say:

"No I'm a bachelor who goes aaround faaking your matha! Any problem dighade? Faakin baastards!! Ask me again and see what I do.. blaady I'll beat you aap like enything!"

"No sir you don't get it! We didn't mean it that way. We mean is there anyone you've... fallen in love with?"

"Oooooooo! Eisaa Bolow Naa! Yes I lieke saamvaan.... I like Danny! Faakin she got an owesome fece! I wont her..... I wont her..... I......"

after which Ishan Maitra banged the 20 KG Malaysian wooded furniture into pieces......

Asked if Maitra misses his friends from India when he's here, in LA

"Yaa I miss saam of theym.... Raana Hei.... Stanis Hei.... These are like my true friends.... Faakin Owesaam!"

Well, the complete interview has been published in the "Muscle & Fitness" Magazine's latest edition which is available at all leading magazine and book stores! Please get your copy now!

Here's the cover picture of the magazine which chose Ishan as the star of the month.

Love knows no Religion

2006-04-07T22:20:00.000+05:30

Wedding Bells at SX Central have rung once again. This time writing a new history in the pages of Indian Secularism.

C-Grade Movie Producer Prabdeep Singh & C-Grade Porn Film Star Areeb Hassan have been proclaiming their gay love since times immemorial. A new twist was added to the love story when Hassan started double-dating Daniyal Kaukab Jamil as well who apparently grew an incomplete stubble all to woo his lady love. However, as time passed it came out in the open that Hassan never loved Krazy Kaukab (tentively titled by Hassan himself) and that he wants to settle down with Prabd Deep Singh.

Prabdeep's mother, who is somewhat of a nag, kept complaining about Areeb's muslim background and how he should adapt to the Punjabi life style now, but Areeb knows more ways than one when it comes to pleasing his to-be mother in law.... Areeb converted to Sikhism just one day before starting his new life journey with his adorable life partner.

A picture of their wedding has been taken. Areeb's decision has created waves in the Muslim community who have declared Areeb Hassan a disbeliever already and have started boycotting even Kaukab Daniyal all because he loved the one that has disbelieved.

On the other hand, Areeb has already started following the Punjabi customs and has stopped cutting his hair which according to him is now, "haraam". Although no hints have been given whether Areeb has stopped shaving or not, his husband Prabdeep has claimed that Areeb has thrown his razor and now shaving is an absolute no-no for him.

Well, like it or not, Areeb's decision has created a new level of secularism and the Muslims and Sikhs are happy at large. A picture of the glorious has been posted right below:

The Pain of Leaving Xavier's....!!!

2006-03-20T16:19:00.000+05:30

Rahul Mehra.....an ex-student of St.Xavier's Collegiate School.....felt the actual pain of leaving Xavier's on his last day of school...He recieved several shots to the crotch (tukki as we ppl call it) from Piyush Poddar(aka Pappu) and Devvrat Himatsingka.... By the end of the day....boy-oh-boy....was he flat on the ground!!! Bad way to have a last day.... Snaps were taken of some very good natural poses, one of which has been has been displayed above....

Bangali Staads

2006-03-16T13:46:00.000+05:30

Ever noticed some of the boys in your school/college......the dudes with the brown dye-job, the "aaste ladiss" smile,the i-don't-know-nothing-except-bengali and the everything-that-is-not-bengali-is-lameass attitude, and of course the ever popular "E,Keliye Debo" voice ?

Well they are the one and only "Bangali Staads"

one of my friends defined "bangali staads" as people who are super cool, dudes who can impress the ladies and at the same time be the "boss" of a gang of chamchas.
well i definitely think they fit the description.

I mean like come on,
who can resist a guy showing off his chest hair, combing his hair whenever a female approaches, manage to be called the "da" of the neighbourhood and at the same time say the famous, " E, Keliye debo" line whenever anyone argues with him.

we should all become like these bangali staads.

so i thought about it and well here's "how to become a staad" :-

#1 -- learn the lingo ( u gotta say stuff like "e,saalaa" , "dhur katua" and "keliye debo" all the time)

#2 -- get those reflexes ( it takes practice to be able to move your hand to your hair the moment a female approaches)

#3 -- get that smile. ( u can't do without the smile,nono. and it needs to spell "aaste ladiss" without actually saying it.)

#4 -- learn to impress those "Babe"s ( remember that piglet :)

#5 -- add da "DA" ( very very important, like how can u have a Bappi-Da without the "Da") (this also certifies that you have some chamchas)
No matter what you do, no matter who you are. At heart, you have to feel and recognize the Mithun da in you.
Who do you think is the best cricketer in the world?
if the answer is Shourobh da, you , my friend, are one step closer :)

#6 -- you need brown brown and more brown (run and dye your hair nowww, its CRUCIAL)

#7 -- Get the body odour (not only do you need to look and feel the part, but you also got to smell it.Note :- just having the body odour of a roadside animal isn't enough)

#8 -- Your tiffin!!! Yes, yes! Your tiffin! If you want to be a true "bangali" staad, it must have the following ingrediants:-

A. A partly half-rotten two day "kolaa" (banana).
B. A half-boiled aandaa (also called egg by some).
C. The second floor of your steel tiffin must have Daal Bhaat aar Ilich Maach (Wet Rice + Watery Fish).

Is your mouth watering already??? Well, that shows the "bangali" in you! Seriously.

#9 -- and lastly get those clothes
( preferably the spacy ones which show more than enough of your chest hair)
( if your going all out wear a only sando and a chaddi (what men wear while gym-ing) :-)

(p.s. if you don't get the odour you can always buy the "phiphtee phaisa phaarphoomch" sold by our very own Chomunanth Gos)

Happiness comes to Congoland

2006-03-15T23:29:00.000+05:30

This one's straight from the heart of Congoland, a small village located in Nigeria. The village did not have any rainfall for the past 3 years and people were starving due to poverty. If that was not even, plague had spread through the land and people were dying faster than the rate at which they became black.

A well-learned African magician, Don Cumba-La-La-Pista had claimed that the season of dry weather in Congo Land will not end until the chosen one whom God has sent is born. He did not say anything more than that and since he was respected by the niggers (also spelt as "niggas") of that village, his words of wisdom were thought of and the aged and learned had declared his words as "a riddle which could not be solved".

Apparently, care must be taken that this incident was also mentioned in Nostradamus' prediction of the 21st century in his book:

There will be a village in the land of fire
Where people will have a will to desire
Fairness and beauty, but to them it shall not come
Yes, they will be as you see,
Fucktards- stupid and dumb

They will be called niggers by the people of their times
Their mamas won't be bought,
Even when they sell them for less than a dime

They will be born, but will not cry
Due to poverty and diseases will they die
Say they will "Yo Man! " when they are born
They will be ugly and their clothes- badly torn

One of them, will but rise, to stardom unlike rest
Among the pop icons of then, he will be, but the best
Michael Jackson will be his identity, it shall be his name
He will love children way too much which will bring him shame

Among them all, will there be, one who will be great
Graceous Binu Sebestian will be his father and mate
His fortune will bring to his village but,
Great luck and lots of whores and slut

He will be, yes, he will be, yes
He will be the chosen one
The bad nigger-times will be done
And they too will have fun"

Nostradamus clearly prophesized that the son of some Graceous Binu Sebestian will be the one whose fortune will put an end to all the miseries of the people of Congo Land! And once more his prophecy has been fullfilled as a Congo Land resident, Graceous Binu Sebestian and his wife, Black Maria Beauty had a child last month whom the couple has named, Graceous Binu Sebestian Jr. has turned out to be the chosen one as the plague season in Congo Land is over and it had heavily rained for one long week at a stretch in Congo Land recent after Binu Jr's birth.

Well, sometimes, somethings remain unclear, which we refer to as "The Unexplained". An episode about this miracle will be telecasted shortly on "Ripley's Believe-it-or-not".

As for now, please take a look at the Sebestian family which has clearly proved to be "extremely lucky" for the village of Congo Land.

Legacy of the Roy Choudhary Empire!

2006-03-15T23:22:00.000+05:30

The prince of the most wealthiest and reputed families in the history of Bengal Artificial Body Building Steroids Cooperation made a surprise visit to the town on Sunday. The prince, made a stunning entry in a lavish million dollar limousine from where he landed straight in the Ballygunge Gym for pumping some iron.

"The gym out here is not so great but is ok for the cheap lower class people like the ones living here in India. Other than that, the people out here need some really strong body perfumes although I doubt if that would be much of a help", Said the prince after which he immediately pumped his muscles and showed off his beautifully built body to the crowd.

Khan comes out clean!!!

2006-03-15T23:12:00.000+05:30

For around 2 years now, the buzz has been that Aamil Khan who is arguably, one of the biggest mouths and shortest bodies in India, is gay. His career went on a high when Bollywood Bad-Boy Shakti Kapoor gave him his full support and rumours since then were on that Khan and Kapoor were apparently going around. Later, when his obsession with Shakti Kapoor was over, the rumour got faded out but recently at Calcutta Club on the Bakery Carnival '05 on Sunday, Khan was spotted holding hands with "close friend" Rohan Maheshwari and the buzz started out that the two were gay with each other :wink: . The shocking part was that both of them are very much single and so the rumour got more believable. But, Khan and Maheshwari denied the rumours by clearly stating that they are only "good friends" and nothing more than that & their respective looks are responsible for the fact that they're single and that next time people should investigate the news before spreading it.Khan is still seen wearing a watch with "Michael Jackson" written on it. Surprisingly the next day, a pissed off Khan called a press conference exclusively with -sXcentral- and came out open that he is NOT single and that the kid's heart throb--- BARNEY and he are seeing each other for the past four years now!!! Aamil Khan, came out, with strong evidences so that his claim was not marked off as "just another publicity stunt". Apparantly he appeared at the conference with a t-shirt that said "I Love Barney" and he posed for it so that we could post it.

Barney whose star-status is no less than Aamil Khan was unavalaible for the comment. Khan, later confirmed, that the duo will meeting us in the evening together!!! As for the afternoon meeting, he also brought a video that showed him and Barney coochi-cooing in his Private Park. Here is a screenshot from that video:

On Khan's close friend list were spotted many--- Talibani Terrorist- Al Rashid Ragheb and Winner of Playboy loser of the centurey Rohan Maheshwari. Canadian Drugs Smuggler Pious Saraswat was present on the ocassion with his younger brother Prahlad Saraswat. "I love Barney. I am his biggest fan. I even brush two-times a day because he said he wouldn't talk to bad-boys who don't brush two times a day", said Prahlad, after which white-boy Pious bursted into a huge and meaningless laughter.

Later, Barney and Khan came out in the open and kissed and each other making their gay pedophile relationship public.

-sXcentral- managed to catch Aamil Khan for comments. "He needs to try something different now. Pink is soo outdated", said Khan, after which he and Barney hit the dance floor. Surprise guest performances followed up as Barney's close friends Booh-Baah, Oswald and Hobo made a surpise entry to woo the couple and the kids! We wish the couple good luck and a happy and gay life :) !

Baby Sania gets her Jackson

2006-03-15T22:54:00.000+05:30

We all know Sania Mirza is hot and there is barely any doubt about it but how many of us know how bad this world is afterall? When India TV had targeted the oh-so-innocent Shakti Kapoor, I was the very first person to stand up for him and his rights. What really impressed me was the way the man struck back (Ref: Early June, 2005) where when caught on demanding a girl (reportedly called Ruchi) for sex. He fought back to prove the reality and his innocence:

"Main Bhi Mard Hoon. Meri Bhi Kuch Bhawnayein Hai"
"I am also a man... I too have some desires..."

This was fair enough to justify his actions. Also we need to keep in mind the following:-

1. The Anti-Shakti SMS on India TV were all FAKE which were apparently kept onbeing entered by the channel CEO, Rajat Sharma himself.

2. Fact that Shakti's boyish look and sex charm had all the Bollywood Babes go gooh-gaah. Why would Shakti demand sex from a stranger when he had anyone from Aishwarya to Antara Mali simply a call away from his bed???

3. Shakti Kapoor is one of the richest man alive in Asia Pacific (India Today had an article which had the frontpage heading as: Shakti Kapoor: Richest Indian in the world?) and can buy sex if not get it.

Well I could go on and on but you and I, and everyone else knows the truth and there is no point in discussing that now. Reason why I am discussing bit of Shakti before I carve deeper into the subject is to show you that where India TV failed to get a real casting couch captured on camera. We here at -sXcentral- have just managed to do the opposite. we are here with an eye-opening evidence which shows how shamelessly this politician who happens to be of Sania's father... oops... grandfather's age has tried to satisfy his want of lust by getting into physical contact with Sania.

Take a close look at this bastard! Yes please do! This man has a daughter who's older than Baby Sania. Just take a look at his face, this old man who puts himself in an absolutely comfortable physical posture while touching Baby Sania without even the slightest expression of guilt on his face. The happiness that appears on his face appears to be boundless.

The SX Central Team is on a hunt for this man who also turned out to be the "Santa Claus" that kids claimed having spent nights with in different parts of the year, not nessarily XMas! The man has escaped but

If you see this man, then contact us at this number: 1600-9875-6251-3000 and we will take immediate actions.

Remember... this man is dangerous! Do not try catching him on your own but rather contact us.

Toegther we can, and we will make a difference!!!
Ahem x_x

Yawar does a U-Turn

2005-11-10T16:08:00.000+05:30

After reportedly being chased by Close-Up to be their brand ambassador, eccentric film-star Yawar Ali has cancelled all negotiations and signed on to become brand ambassador for rival brand Colgate. Vice-President of Colgate Mr. Arock 'Walrus' Swamy expressed his delight after Yawar his son-in-law had signed on the dotted line said to be worth $ 38 million.

Yawar's appointment as brand ambassador comes as a big shock to his friends and family as he rarely brushes his teeth and had also famously forgotten to brush his teeth for a whole week after he had misplaced his toothbrush.

We at sXcentral would like to wish u a bad-breath free week !!

Yawar Ali to break silence

2005-11-10T14:15:00.000+05:30

Speaking for the first time on the Stephanie Auckland controversy, film-star Yawar Ali has said that he will be acting in a movie based on the controversy, to be produced by PANDULFUS entertainment ltd. and directed by his uncle Valliavettil of Baby Boy fame. He plans to reveal his side of the story to his fans whom he feels deserve an explanation. In the movie he will reveal how his former best friend, actor Areeb Hasan ganged up with mafia don Daniyal Jamil to extort millions of dollars from him after they claimed to have photographs of the one time couple in compromising postures.

The story goes that Steffie, an active member of the Eagle Gang, had sent Yawar a very emotional e-mail in which she confessed her love for for him after which Yawar was spotted with gelled hair the next day. Close friend of Yawar Ali, Akhilesh Gupta took half an hour to tell us that Yawar was devastated when he learnt about her past especially since he wanted to marry her and had bought a years supply of Brylcreem Gel to impress her. Yawar had decided not talk abut this in the media as he feared he might lose all his fans. But now after years of keeping mum he's decided to clear things.

The Serial Bomblasts!

2005-11-01T14:15:00.000+05:30

All of us know about the recent school bomblasts. According to sources, seventeen people were injured and sixty three have lost their lives. -sXcentral- has a zero tolerance for crime and we hate criminals! So our reporters started investigating the case. Surprisingly the prime suspect Raghav Chirimar was absent on the day the event took place. What could be the secret behind this? Is he involved???

The reason Chirimar was absent was because he did not want to risk his life as he already knew about the bomblasts in advance and that's so very obvious because he turned out to be the mastermind behind all this!!!

Raghav Chirimar is actually the world famous terrorist Rashid Ragheb who had disguised himself as a Marwari student and had changed his name to Raghav Chirimar. He was here to carry out the planned bomblasts! Our sources have confirmed that he was supplied with all the material by his boss, Osama Bin Laden. And we know that we would be asked for evidences when we blame somebody but we have done a 100% job! Check out this picture which was found when we raided Chirimar's house.

By the time we reached his place, the terrorist had escaped!!! He has been travelling all oer the world with different names and carried out serial bomblasts. He is the master of disguise and you have to see it to believe it.

Rashid Ragheb had killed the real Raghav who lived with his family and took his place. Raghav's family members still can't believe that their son is dead and the person they were living with for so many days was the same person who had killed their son!

It is unknown where Ragheb is right now. He has probably escaped and is between Pakistan and Afghanistan. No one knows what his next move will be but Al-Jazeera has claimed that Ragheb has sent them a fresh video which shows him claiming to have a full proof plan to destroy the Bush-administration.

Ragheb who joined Al-Qaeeda six years back was chosen by Osama himself to lead his men after Ragheb proved his brilliance by robbing the world's largest bank all by himself! Here is a small snap of the The Great Bank Robbery which took place eight years back and had left the world in a disastrous state. We found this article in a newspaper (probably we will post the full newspaper as it is) but now the picture that the Bank manager had managed to take before Ragheb had shot him dead too.

We continue to expose the criminals. We continue to reveal the truth. Our Breaking News session will Continue. Do send us your comments by posting them here. If you have any such video or picture, please send them to us too.

Kolkata, Sxcentral
Exinator

Dandiya Dhamaka

2005-10-29T19:49:00.000+05:30

Hello Everyone and first of all Eid Mubaarak and Happy Diwali.

I am changing the theme for a fresh look...

And on this grand ocassion I hereby reveal unto thy, the poster of the much hyped fest for the gujju community, Dandiya Dhama 05. I've scanned in the poster which I managed to easily retrieve using my Gujju contacts. Here ya go, click on the poster to enlarge it and you shall realise Prasham is a star. Well, I've made him one ^_^ XD!

Also for those of you wondering where the Deva-Momin adventures have dissappeared, we have removed them on the couple's request but if you want them back, join our quest and request the duo. As if this is not enough, Drug addict Sumesh Duggar is also asking us to remove his Telegraph article. If everything is removed, where will sxcentral be? Please help us by donating threats to Duggar. For now, the poster.......

Promises are meant to be broken... But some are meant to be fullfiled.
Majama Chho :)

Apologies

2005-10-28T11:50:00.000+05:30

OK Guys seriously, I'm sorry for such a late update. Actually I lost interest in sXcentral. But it seems sxcs is simply loving it and people outside sxcs are luvin it too ^_^. Well thnk u for such a warm response, I will shortly make a new post with new faces o.O :) Brothers n their sisters keep loving me. Also don't forget to leave ur comments on every post [V] make. As for now this is all i have to offer ( found it on an mtv website). Enjoy and jus keep checkin for mah nexx>> post.

That's all for now.
Have fun.

Note: every post we make is solely for satisfying the lowly cheap xavieran desires and we have no intention of hurting the jackasses we target. So don't feel sorry as "har ek ka number aayega".

Posible Next Target: Prasham Shah :)

A Walt Disney Venture

2005-10-08T23:35:00.000+05:30

Talking about movies, this time India is all set to make it to the Oscars and we all know it will with Adhuri Suhaagraat being the strongest contender. But India is going all global too! Walt Disney has produced a cartoon with Indian actor, Muffaddal. The actor has previously appeared in Barbie Doll advertisements playing both, the little girl who gets Barbie for her gift and the magical Barbie Doll herself. Well this actor has finally found a better platform to showcase his venture! We here at - sXcentral - wish him all the best! And at the same time, I request you to go watch the movie at theatres. It releases on Friday, 14th October, 2005 all over the world in 7 different languages! Meanwhile here's a poster of the movie:

The Telegraph

2005-10-07T17:03:00.000+05:30

Man... today Morning I was goin to read the paper and look what I read in the article....
I am still in shock... I can't believe it. It has caused me immense mental trauma and depression. I have scanned the frontpage for you all to see. Please click on the image for proper view :( :(.

Areeb Satisfies DJ!

2005-10-03T20:40:00.000+05:30

Areeb Hassan who has made his debut this year in the recent blockbuster, Hawas Ka Pujari has filed a case against a man called Daniyal Jamil. According to rumours, the reason Hassan has filed this case is because Daniyal Jamil claims that Areeb is a gay and that the duo were deeply in love but after becoming a superstar, Areeb has dumped him and has chosen to sleep with the famous director, Prabdeep Singh who created waves with his masterpiece Raat ke Laddoo (2001) that brought a new revolution in the Indian Cinema. Prabdeep Singh is allegedly also the director of Hawas Ka Pujari which comes out in November and stars Areeb Hassan in the lead. Areeb and Prabdeep have also been reportedly spotted at Welcome Lodge, Rippon Street and rumour has it that they spent the night together in the same room.

Jamil has said that he always doubted Areeb's character was loose. He has therefore to take his revenge, come out in the open with photographs taken during their happy times where the duo have given gay poses. Jamil also claims to have a video film which contains Areeb and Jamil making together! The court has ordered the FBI to investigate further into the case and to prevent Daniyal Jamil from spreading any such photgraphs or videos. Reportedly, FCUK Laboratory, UK has said that the photgraph Jamil came out with and that was published in Cosmoploitan is "authentic".